Over the course of the past, let’s just say- decade, I have learned to really lean into the arms of the Universe.
During that time, I have accepted the things that are out of my control and made peace with them.
I have also identified what IS WITHIN ME and my “control”.
Then, I took action.
So today, although nervous about what it “may look like” in writing, I push along.
Because I know now that I am paving a path one stepping stone at a time.
A path that I have stumbled over, fallen, gotten back up and continued to walk on since I was a very young child.
At first, the opening to this trail of FREEDOM was disguised.
Mostly as Fear.
But now that I have walked through and around the Matrix of Fear with my candle lit and my eyes open, my goal is to make the entrance to reclaiming oneself more visible for others than it was for me.
I FEEL, which is a DIVINE RIGHT TO CLAIM, (the act of feeling that is)…
It is my responsibility because, as I have said before and will continue to mantra on with;
“Once you know differently, you are responsible to do differently.”
I proceed and I publish this knowing very well that the Universe will get it to where it is meant to be and likely, will trip the switch of a cascading events that CAN be healing for anyone who needs THAT right now.
All you have to do is CHOOSE.
Monday Mental Health Wellness Plug regarding abuse.
SELF CARE sometimes means:
Saying not only inside, but loudly outside, “NO MORE!”
In my past, NOT AT ALL CURRENT TIMES, I’ve been physically, sexually, spiritually, and emotionally abused by a partner.
I’ve had to call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1.800.799.SAFE (7233). One can also text “START” TO 88788 for help.
I’ve had to call on one of my sisters to text me the number, to hold photos of the proof,
shit – to hold ME when I was feeble,
not from the beatings,
or anything other than sheer exhaustion
due to my constant PROGRAMMED acceptance and loyalty to my abuser.
This is a human versus soul fight no one should ever have to have.
I will not say any more about when, who, or why because while navigating this post trauma journey, I have also learned and instituted safe and healthy BOUNDARIES.
What I WILL say though –
Mental, Emotional, Physical and Spiritual abuses are ALL a valid “thing”.
YOU DESERVE NONE OF IT.
NO MATTER WHAT YOUR ABUSER SAYS TO YOU.
NO MATTER WHAT YOUR INSECURE AND SCARED INTERNAL VOICES SAY TO YOU.
Even if you have lashed out with hands or mouth.
Even if you have made mistakes.
Even if you have violated a boundary.
Even if you have reactively abused.
You can still initiate the reclaiming and recovery process.
Nothing you do or ever did makes you deserve to be in a position to be hit, slammed (with fists or words), called names for your sexuality or for seeking of attention, lied to, abducted, or taken to a place that was not your desired and agreed upon destination to get to help and safety.
If those in your immediate circle are participating in the cycle of abuse,
coursing you for their evil pleasures in an attempt to avoid the truth of their own abuses,
or dismissing your needs and calling themselves your “friends”,
you have the right and YOU WILL HAVE THE SUPPORT you need to put an end to it.
Heed this bit of my voice:
You have the right and support to put an end to this, but not through putting an end to you or your sweet soul.
Regardless of what others think, your perception is true.
It is real.
The “sister in me” wants all my “siblings out there” to know;
There is nothing to be ashamed of.
You will not be alienated;
others from around the continent will rise up.
You can do it.
Call this number.
You have time. But do it soon.
You can call on the way to work,
the grocery store,
going to get a coffee,
to & from the gym,
picking up the kids,
or while visiting a friend…
Learn your rights.
*I will never be abused again.
It is possible for you to achieve the strength to make this VOW TO SELF too.
I said it.
I went first.
Just like a big sister would.
I went in and turned on the light.
Now. Look around.
You WILL SEE SUPPORT in every corner.
Emanating from above and below.
Even from within.